Happier

Well, since I'm at least out to a few people, myself included, I've already noticed a drastic change. I thought my life was happy, but now things are so much better. I'm more motivated at work, I've already noticed some bad habits disappear, and I feel more feminine already. Need to be careful though: I can't do too much of a drastic change, my wife might start to become suspicious, and it's not time to tell her yet.

But, my deadline is set. August 23rd, I will be telling my wife and my parents. I get a lot of butterflies in my stomach thinking about it. I'm trying not to obsess about my transition, but its pretty much the only thing I think about full time. Granted, day to day tasks come first, but if my mind is open for something, it's thinking about my transition. The future, what possibilities hormones will do, when I'll get them, how my body will change, things I'll have to do (like shopping for a new wardrobe, dear God help me).

Which brings to mind a side note, which is pretty funny. One reason I know I'm trans is I've always been envious/jealous of girls. Mostly, because they get to be a girl and I don't. But they do have some annoying habits, which I laugh at because some of them I will have to start. Like shopping for clothes for 3 freakin' hours in one store. Or, all going into the bathroom at the same time (I'd be interested to find out why that one happens once I'm able to go full time, what a mystery). Among other things.

I am excited to start transition, I'm so sure of it I'd skip therapy if I could. But, at the same time, I'm not exactly educated on everything, so a professional will help. I'm sure there are things I'm not thinking of that I'll have the "oh yeah" moment on, and need some time to think about.

I've already been writing my coming out letter to my parents, and slowly perfecting it. I'd come out to them now, as it doesn't really bother me much. But, then they'd act differently towards me, and that would get Krystal suspicious. She's the only barricade I have right now. Once that dam is broken, the river can finally start flowing to the ocean.

UPDATE: First appointment tomorrow!!