Time

Well, it happened. I got my wish. Maybe subconsciously I knew that telling my mom would lead to her being upset and wanting to know. But, let me put it all out for you.

Again, recapping from Sunday: my mom watched my son for me for a few hours, and when she came back, I told her I was going to therapy for something that had been on me for 12 years now. No, it wasn't drugs, or drinking, or anything dangerous. No I wasn't gay (close to the mark though). I couldn't tell her. I just wasn't ready.

Monday: I called my mom at work to take care of something, and I could hear her tearing up on the other end. I asked her what was wrong, and she said she was scared because she didn't know what was going on. So, I had to tell her to calm her down. Ironically, even though she wasn't fully prepared for it, she knew what was going on. (Shock number 1!) She seemed ok, but we talked for a while and I explained a lot to her.

Monday afternoon: my wife gets home, and she texts my mom to see if she can come over today (Tuesday) so we can pack for a camping trip that is supposed to start tomorrow (HIGHLY DOUBT THAT NOW). She said she'd try, which, to me was "I'm not ready to be there yet." I understood, but my wife, who is still blind to the situation, just thought it was an "I don't know." Well, then later Monday night, I had to call my mom to ask her (in front of my wife), and I luckily asked all the right things so my mom knew my wife was next to me. My mom was still crying (trying to process and understand everything), so my wife thought something was wrong. Well, I played it off that she'd had a bad day at work (which wasn't untrue).

Venture forth a few hours, and my wife started texting my mom to get details of what was wrong at work. My mom was very vague, and wouldn't tell my wife anything. Well, my wife, who is very close to my mom, thought it was suspicious that suddenly she was denied information about problems with my mom. (It is actually very unusual.)

So, when it all comes back to me, I'm sitting here, knowing my mom isn't doing so hot (which I understand, I've prepared for just about everything), and my wife is perplexed as to why this is.

Now, we're supposed to go on a four day camping trip, up in New York, with my wife's parents, who I am not all too keen on telling (I'm not exactly holding my breath for acceptance, though again, I could be surprised). And, to add weight to it, I've got the guilt hanging over me of my mom being upset. So last night, I called my buddy and made arrangements to stay at his house for a few days, JUST IN CASE I need to, and decided I was going to tell my wife today. So, she left to do some errands with our son, and I packed up the necessities in my car.

Just have to wait until she gets home, and then.... well, we'll see. I'm really hoping to be surprised, but I can't even begin to gauge what her reaction will be. Let's just hope it isn't too bad. I can handle getting kicked out, but there are some things that are worse.


MOOD: anxious, scared, stomach is twisting
Winner: ... to be determined