Reflections pt 2

I guess it's been a little while since I updated. I had meant to update only a few days after my last post, but things got busy. Since then, Thanksgiving came and went, and it's now December. I have to say, Thanksgiving went fairly well. I don't know if I mentioned it in my last post, but we went to my wife's house for the holiday, and I wasn't feeling all too comfortable at first. However, my FIL and MIL were pretty cordial about everything. My SIL, well, she said some things to my wife that got back to me, but I'm starting to see that she has had a problem with me since before I came out. To be honest, I'm not all that surprised. But, those kind of people, well, they just need to face reality. Yes, the situation isn't ideal, but it's not going to change if she wants it to. Oh well.

I'm sort of drawing a blank on memories today, at least things that give me an "aha!" sort of feeling. I've never cared much for sports I suppose, as far as playing them. I suppose that doesn't really count for much.

One thing that does come to mind is bathrooms and gym. In middle school, we started what some kids dread, having to change for gym class. In my gym class, I was the only one who was terrified to be in my underwear in front of other guys. It wasn't like there were people there who were jerks either. I remember many of the guys telling me it was ok, and "we all have the same thing," as though to make me more comfortable. I suppose now it could have been a precursor of things to come.

Also, when middle school started, there were bathrooms that were shared by the whole school (in elementary school, for most of it, we had our own bathrooms for each grade. Well, I never felt comfortable using urinals. I always wanted to go into the stalls, and I would actually wait for one if I had to. One of my friends at the time was teasing me about it once, when he and I were in the bathroom at the same time. It makes sense now, I suppose.

I do remember in high school, if I was outside at night, I'd try the old wish on the first/brightest star thing, wishing to be a girl the next morning. Of course it never came true, but I guess I thought at the time it'd be that easy, and that my parents would just think they'd always had a daughter, and not remember their son. Boy, if only I'd taken care of things back then. It would have been so much more simpler, with fewer people involved. But, things work the way they do for a reason I suppose.

I think that's all I have for now. If memories pop up, I'll put them in my posts.