No no no, that's not what you think it means. I did not divorce and get remarried in less than a week.
No, it's me! I'm the new wife! Sort of.
My wife and I had a discussion over the weekend, and a good one finally. No yelling, some tears, and a lot of questions answered that we were both not wanting to ask.
But we came to middle ground. That means we get to stay married, and I get to be Chelsea. It's not all the time of course, but it's enough for me. She asked me not to go on hormones and fully transition, but is allowing me to be Chelsea, well... Not whenever I feel like it, because that would defeat the purpose of me not transitioning. Mostly, just being Chelsea whenever it isn't a risk to our lives, and some other times I need to be male too.
Like, obviously I can't go to the DMV as Chelsea, the picture wouldn't match. Work is off limits too, duh. As per my family, AND hers, we're going to take our time. My friends are very supportive, but family is a different story. I still have to tell my family, but we're waiting until after my son's first birthday. It might seem sort of selfish, but it's more for him than us. And I don't think people want to be at his party looking at me and having questions swim through their heads.
But, back on topic. I'm allowed to go out in public as Chelsea. I can go a lot of places as Chelsea. Eventually, I'll be going to my family as Chelsea. And, my wife doesn't care about this next one. Eventually, I'll go to her family as Chelsea. It's gotta start slow, but we'll get there.
I'm very excited too, because I have my first girls' day coming up. One of my close female friends is having me, Chelsea, over for lunch, and then we're going to go shopping. Sigh. It's nice to finally be one of the girls.
So yes, my wife is, by certain viewpoint, married to two people. But, it's the best of both worlds. She gets a husband who is there for her, to hold her and be strong for her, and a wife, who can really relate to her. And me, I get to keep my family and be myself. What a deal. Couldn't have asked for a better one.
Monday, February 3, 2014
Wednesday, January 29, 2014
A lot of stuff
Well, it's been quite some time since I updated on here, so let me see what I need to update.
First, there's my in-laws. We... um, talked finally. About everything. It was not exactly brought up well. We were visiting for Christmas, and I had gone to bed already, only to be awakened by my wife telling me we were leaving... at 11:30 at night.
It started somewhat as an argument, some things were said that most people would say "screw this," and leave, but I wanted to show them that I wasn't going to stand for it. They still aren't too happy about everything, and I was told a lot of things, like how could I not want to be a father for my son, and how when my wife was growing up, my FIL dreamed of her having a husband, and a normal family. So, pretty much stuck to his old fashioned views. And my MIL told me I need to go to a normal therapist, because the transwoman at their campground (yes, apparently she does exist) told them that I am required to go to a normal therapist before starting transition. I think what they misunderstood that as was the required sessions before a trans person can get hormones.
Regardless, they think I have other issues that I'm interpreting as transgender.... Not sure what else could possibly be close to that, but ok. They also yelled at me for lying to them all this time, although I was also told that my relationship with them was not what I thought. No, we weren't family yet, we were "getting close." Yes, married for almost 2 years, with my wife for nearly 8, and we were "getting close." But, them lying to me all these years was not the same as my lie..... A lie is a lie. But whatever.
Minus the details, things were said, a lot of things people regretted. But, the next morning, my FIL told my wife and I that we would make things work for my son's sake.
Things at home are doing ok. My wife is still struggling a bit, we've had a few arguments. We're making some compromises, shy of me not transitioning. Might be waiting a little longer, and I'm giving a little bit at home, for a trade-off of possibly going out now and again as Chelsea until I transition.
Other than that, not much has changed on the topic of laws. Pennsylvania's lawsuit for same-sex marriage is coming up in June, and the state House will be looking at PA HB300 this year sometime, which will protect trans people at work, those who want a mortgage, and apartments, etc.
Guess we'll see what happens.
First, there's my in-laws. We... um, talked finally. About everything. It was not exactly brought up well. We were visiting for Christmas, and I had gone to bed already, only to be awakened by my wife telling me we were leaving... at 11:30 at night.
It started somewhat as an argument, some things were said that most people would say "screw this," and leave, but I wanted to show them that I wasn't going to stand for it. They still aren't too happy about everything, and I was told a lot of things, like how could I not want to be a father for my son, and how when my wife was growing up, my FIL dreamed of her having a husband, and a normal family. So, pretty much stuck to his old fashioned views. And my MIL told me I need to go to a normal therapist, because the transwoman at their campground (yes, apparently she does exist) told them that I am required to go to a normal therapist before starting transition. I think what they misunderstood that as was the required sessions before a trans person can get hormones.
Regardless, they think I have other issues that I'm interpreting as transgender.... Not sure what else could possibly be close to that, but ok. They also yelled at me for lying to them all this time, although I was also told that my relationship with them was not what I thought. No, we weren't family yet, we were "getting close." Yes, married for almost 2 years, with my wife for nearly 8, and we were "getting close." But, them lying to me all these years was not the same as my lie..... A lie is a lie. But whatever.
Minus the details, things were said, a lot of things people regretted. But, the next morning, my FIL told my wife and I that we would make things work for my son's sake.
Things at home are doing ok. My wife is still struggling a bit, we've had a few arguments. We're making some compromises, shy of me not transitioning. Might be waiting a little longer, and I'm giving a little bit at home, for a trade-off of possibly going out now and again as Chelsea until I transition.
Other than that, not much has changed on the topic of laws. Pennsylvania's lawsuit for same-sex marriage is coming up in June, and the state House will be looking at PA HB300 this year sometime, which will protect trans people at work, those who want a mortgage, and apartments, etc.
Guess we'll see what happens.
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